Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
