dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
