What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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