he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
