i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
