well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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