I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
