I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Who put my cat in the fridge?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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