i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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