the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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