wake up i wanna do it froggy style
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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