I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
