i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
