What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
