At least make sure they are 18
Why
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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