just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
