It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
