i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
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I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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