Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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