I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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