ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Oh god it's open bar.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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