He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize