I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
