The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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