hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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