whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
