Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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