home. puking in laundry basket.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
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Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
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I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize