i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
