Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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