I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize