He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
