haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
