You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize