you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
