I hate your face
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
