i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
