Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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