I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
