You're my little dorito
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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