bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
