I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
All the doctor said was why
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
