Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
