i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
