he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
