He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
bring money and cleavage
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The Olympian is in my bed
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize