I queefed so loud it echoed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
