I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
