imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
