Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
