The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
