Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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