y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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