Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize