That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
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this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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