help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize