Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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